MOMMY.CARDS
You're the reason I drink
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Mooooo
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Silence is suspicious
Spa day? How about a spa month?
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