MOMMY.CARDS
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Silence is suspicious
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
You're the reason I drink
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Mooooo
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
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