MOMMY.CARDS
You're the reason I drink
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Silence is suspicious
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Mooooo
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
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