MOMMY.CARDS
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Silence is suspicious
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
You're the reason I drink
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Mooooo
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