MOMMY.CARDS
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
You're the reason I drink
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Mooooo
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Silence is suspicious
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
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