MOMMY.CARDS
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Spa day? How about a spa month?
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Silence is suspicious
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
You're the reason I drink
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Mooooo
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Share Card
×