MOMMY.CARDS
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Silence is suspicious
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Mooooo
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
You're the reason I drink
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