MOMMY.CARDS
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
You're the reason I drink
Mooooo
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Silence is suspicious
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
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