MOMMY.CARDS
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Silence is suspicious
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Mooooo
You're the reason I drink
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