MOMMY.CARDS
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Mooooo
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Silence is suspicious
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
You're the reason I drink
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Spa day? How about a spa month?
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