MOMMY.CARDS
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Silence is suspicious
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
You're the reason I drink
Mooooo
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
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