MOMMY.CARDS
You're the reason I drink
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Silence is suspicious
Mooooo
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
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