MOMMY.CARDS
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
You're the reason I drink
Mooooo
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Silence is suspicious
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
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