MOMMY.CARDS
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
You're the reason I drink
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Mooooo
Silence is suspicious
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