MOMMY.CARDS
Who needs Bali? My silent retreats are on the toilet
Spa day? How about a spa month?
Don't call me unless someone's bleeding
You're the reason I drink
Moms are like buttons, they hold everything together
Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?
Calm down, mommy just needs to go pee
Hungry? Again? I just fed you!
I wish kids came with snooze buttons
Chasing tiny humans is my cardio
Silence is suspicious
Mooooo
Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee
Awake past 9pm? Wild night!
9 months of pregnancy, but sure, they look like daddy
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